Adoption Reunion: How to Reconnect with Your Biological Family by Using the Internet
At 26 years old, it would be dishonest to suggest that I had been searching for my biological family my "entire" life. Though I can safely say that with at least two decades under my belt, and the knowledge that I was adopted since I was at least seven years old, that I have wanted to know more about my origins since at least that age, and have been looking and searching since I was the least 13 - which is probably about average since most of us seek independence and true meaning in our lives when puberty comes to wreak havoc on us...
Yet it wasn't until recently, that I decided to make a bold move and reach out in a way that I have not yet done. A way that I'm going to share with you, mostly because, it worked.
Now if you're like me, you've probably signed up on all sorts of adoption registries, searched through secret files in your parents garages or attics, and gathered as many clues and as much of info as you possibly can. You've probably also gone to your local courthouse or superior court and attempted to get more information, which for most of us simply leads to red tape and big barriers.
All is not lost though, especially if you have not tried several key tactics that have only really recently been an opportunity for those of us adoptee's.
What I found to be extremely effective in reconnecting with my biological family, was to:
1. Gather all of my evidence in one place, and ask everyone you know for every last bit of information about your adoption. Make sure you have no clearing your mind, so that should anyone who can help you - ask you about the adoption in which you know, you can give them a fairly good picture of your current situation. Even if you don't know much, make sure that you know that little bit of information, like the back of your own hand.
2. Your next bit of effort should be best expressed by going out and finding the attorneys who worked with both your adoptive and your biological parents when the adoption took place. They are going to be way more informed about the situation, and in my experience, much more excited about the chance to be a part of reconnecting you with your family. The attorneys who helped achieve your adoption and get you to a loving family who have the means and resources to care for you, we're well vested in your life probably before you were even born. So for them, it's kind of like being finally able to read the last chapter in a very good mystery book. Not to mention, even though they still have to follow the laws, they are likely to be able to explain to you any processes and procedures you'll need to go through to continue your search and finally reconnect with your birth family.
3. Use social media to your advantage. If you are not able to give a lot of information about your adoption, or you just having a hard time contacting your attorneys are the right people, then use social media and reach out to people you might not even know yet, who may just know you. In my own situation, barriers were broken down and challenges turned into opportunities, once I reached out and asked my friends and social networking groups like Facebook, if they could help me solve the mystery. Craigslist was another good source of support and information, and should not be overlooked if you find yourself in a dead end. On other great way you can take advantage of social media, is to get on youtube or ustream and put your face out there with the world can see you, and not just hear your story. This creates a stronger bond between those who see you and want to help, and also helps people who might see a family resemblance, and be able to say "Hey, I know a guy who looks like he could be your older brother, and he fits that description where you said your birth parent have a son before you."
You never know it's there a connection, though when it comes to having little information, it really is a process of elimination that is going to successfully reunite you with your birth family.
Last but not least, remember not to give up. It is those whom know that finding their birth family members, is inevitable, who will finally reunite with them eventually. It is only your level of resourcefulness, enthusiasm and persistence that will truly make the difference as to how quickly you find yourself reconnected.