Coping with Issues of Sexual Abuse: the Psychology of Being Abused As a Child
Here is a topic that might hit home for some people. I hope it is well received by many. Often it is something people either are in denial of or really believe things will change.
I am referring to abuse, whether it is domestic or otherwise.
What is abuse?
People often go with the belief abuse is when someone physically harms you, abuse is so much more then that. Did you know a person can verbally abuse you? Abuse is never just physical. Spoken words can hurt and the affects are just as damaging. Battered people suffer in so many ways. Often people who have gone through issues such as abuse don’t seek the help which is needed to heal. Sometimes this is because they are in denial or just embarrassed that it is happening to them.
What if you were abused as a child? Something I seem to hear of too much of. How do you deal with these issues? I’m aware not everyone wants to read or hear about the issues of abuse. Especially when it refers to a child, but here’s the truth behind this. A child, who has experienced any type of abuse, will grow up. The person who started the abuse cycle in her life may not continue it, but that doesn’t mean it goes away. It can take on in different forms of abuse.
It’s unfortunate that when a child does get the courage to speak up. Many times they are ignored or accused of not telling the truth. This is upsetting, know matter what type of abuse a child has spoke of. The issue deserves attention, doesn’t matter whether it’s physical or worse then that sexual, it should be addressed never ignored.
If as a child you dealt with abuse, how are you dealing with it now? Have you swept it under the rug and live life as if it never happened? Even if you think it doesn’t affect your adult life, it does. It stays with you throughout your past and present relationships. Your issues of insecurity come from the issue of abuse.
How do you heal as an adult, if as a child you experienced abuse in some form?
It’s a very confusing thing to deal with because you never really understand why it happened. It is human nature for people to want to know why something has occurred.
Being a survivor of any type of abuse, physical, mental, emotional, verbal or sexual, is it possible to love someone? Is it possible to allow someone to love you?
Focusing on sexual abuse for a moment, something that happens to young girls far too often. It’s my belief this sets the stage for them as they grow into young woman. Intimacy to them now is something fake, false and unwanted. How can they ever know what real love is, if they never experienced it? Only allowing substitution for love with the wrong things. Many times this is the reason young women get into using drugs. They go with the thought it will take away the pain. I would think this could only make your life head in the direction of a more negative road. It never makes the issue go away or heal you from the pain.
If you do not stop the abuse or attempt to figure out why it is occurring, then it will continue to follow you. One day realizing you are going from one problematic relationship to the next. Thinking what did you do to cause failure that follows each relationship you get involved in? You ask yourself, what is wrong with you? When you should be asking why would someone do such a thing to a child, or an adult, to a human?
You end up with people who have belittled you only to make themselves appear stronger in the relationship. Your weakness attracts weak people in your life.
You end up in relationships with people who are not your equal, nor your type. This is really your way of protecting your heart. In time you know it will not last.
As if you are punishing yourself for something you couldn’t avoid. You go through life feeling empty inside. Making excuses for things done to you. It’s as if you feel guiltily for something you had no control over. You are actually scared to show emotions.
That means then you must trust, and when you trusted you were betrayed.
Nothing is worth taking that chance again. You could not prevent this before as a child, but now as a woman, you won’t let anyone get close to you.
You float through life with this empty feeling inside your heart and soul. Wanting to love someone and get that love back, but to you this is a confusing feeling. What is it to really feel love? Abuse is all you know. You have never had anything other then that.
Now your heart is like ice. You have spent years building walls of security around your heart.
It seems as if women who have dealt with an abusive childhood, grow up, and to fall into relationships that are abusive?
You may ask yourself why do you keep getting involved with the same kind of people.
You continue to be attracted to people that will mistreat you. That has no respect for. You attract the wrong people, you attract negative people.
The way to stop this and the cycle, love you!
To love you is a splendid thing.
Loving someone else is a beautiful experience.
To be loved back is something so worthwhile.
Don’t continue to be in a relationship with someone who makes you feel worthless.
Women are very strong in every sense of the word. Women have strengths at which you do not become aware of until you find yourself in a struggle of some kind.
Most women do not get the professional help that is needed to get passed the trauma of the abuse they have suffered from as a child. Women tend to just work around it. You sweep it under the rug. Later you realize the affects from the abuse never goes away, nor the memory of it.
You need to compensate for the empty feeling you have inside your heart. You are terrified to give your heart.
So you go into relationships with your guard up and ready for the worst to happen. Now you’re in an empty relationship and feel the need to fill the void. So how do you compensate for that emptiness, you have a child. You end up making life even more difficult and empty. The love you carry for your child or children is so different then the love you will ever feel for any person. So now you end up adding insult to injury, because now it is more difficult to walk away.
After being with someone you did not love and having a child together. It is at this moment that you realize being with someone you are not in love with is just like being alone.
For you to love someone is one thing.
For someone to love you back is another thing.
For two people to be in love with one another at the same time, that is a cherished moment.
We can’t prevent certain things from happening when we are young. As you grow up realize the seriousness to the issue of abuse. Don’t ignore what is obvious and wrong, it will only make it worse. Walk away from a bad situation because staying will only make it worse. The longer you stay the harder it is to get away.
Love isn’t supposed to hurt!