How to Fix the Marriage of Your Daughter

Fixing the marriage of your daughter involves two main tasks: 1) Searching and choosing and then fixing the alliance for your daughter; 2) arranging and conducting the marriage of your daughter.

How to fix the marriage of your daughter!

Today being the beginning of a New Year, I think it is time to think about your daughter's marriage, if she is not already got married.After all you should achieve something concrete in this new year which has not been previously even thought of.

Fixing a marriage involves two main tasks:

i) Fixing the suitable alliance for your daughter and then ii) Arranging and conducting the marriage of your daughter.

Both the tasks are equally cumbersome.In the former task,your duty is to find a suitable pair what we call rather formally 'the bridegroom' for your daughter.In the latter task, you have to shoulder a heavy financial responsibility that includes planning the marriage,making a budget for the proposed marriage, mobilizing funds,spending the funds that includes the fixing the venue for the marriage,printing invitations, disbursing them,looking after the purchases for marriage,conducting the marriage etc.

i)Searching, Selecting, Choosing and Fixing a suitable alliance for your daughter:-

Of the above mentioned two tasks,searching, selecting and fixing the suitable alliance for your daughter is the most difficult and a laborious task.If your daughter is in love with somebody your task is half-done, because you need not search or select a bridegroom for your daughter.Your task has become much easier since you have just to approve her selection by having a look at and get yourself introduced with your daughter's would-be; you have to reconcile with the selection of your daughter, which is an accomplished fact.However,in countries like India,where caste and community plays a predominant role, some parents may not be able to reconcile with the decision of their daughters in selecting and choosing their future husbands, because of the differences in caste or community or in the social status.It has even become a social enigma.Such parents actually forget that times are changing and their daughters are influenced by various factors including many extraneous considerations against which they absolutely have no control at all.Such parents should learn to adapt to the changing circumstances and switch over to the wavelength of their daughters.

In the case of arranged marriages, you have to use a number of channels to choose a suitable alliance for your daughter.

Such channels are:

i) friends and relatives circles

ii)utilising the services of marriage agents or brokers, whose duty is to furnish a number of sources.

iii) utilising the services of mass media.

i)When your friends and relatives refer a number of alliances for your daughter, you have to assess the suitability of a bridegroom for your daughter by taking into account various factors like character, personality, education, employment and family back ground etc and finally take a decision.

ii)When you avail the services of a marriage broker, you have to pick and choose a suitable alliance on the basis of the details furnished by him.You must exercise caution before taking a decision, since there is a scope or a chance of getting carried away by the statement given by the brokers, whose ultimate objective is to get commission after fixing the marriage.Hence, it is usual and customary that whenever a source of alliance is provided by a broker, the information provided by him should be cross-checked or even by making a visit of the concerned house or by personally meeting the concerned groom so as to ascertain the veracity of the statement of the broker.

iii)Of late mass media plays a significant role by providing and exchanging the information about the new alliances, even make arrangements for their meetings etc.A noteworthy feature of these meetings and exchanges is that the concerned parties are able to take an informed decision after meeting the concerned parties in person.

In all the above mentioned three methods,in countries like India,the suitability of an alliance is mainly assessed and their matching is fixed through the horoscopes of both the brides and the bridegrooms.It is even more amazing to learn that if the horoscopes of a bride and bridegroom are not suitable, the alliance is even summarily rejected.Horoscope of a person is nothing but an astrological note based on his or her date of birth, time and star of the concerned person etc.

If a suitable alliance is fixed for your daughter through any one of the above mentioned three methods, the next task is arranging and conducting the marriage of your daughter.Every marriage is arranged and conducted according to the social, religious and economic status and the family back ground of the concerned parties to the marriage.In countries like India,the Hindu marriages are mostly performed in a traditional method in marriage halls and solemnized according to Hindu sasthras and customs.Tying the nuptial knot on the neck of the bride by the bridegroom is the essential ceremony of a Hindu marriage.In the case of Christians, their marriages are mostly held in churches as solemnized by a religious personality, say a bishop.In the case of Muslims, their marriages are solemnized in the presence of Muslim religious heads.Irrespective of your religion, after having fixed the suitable alliance for your daughter,it is your duty to have a very good planning for conducting the marriage.It is always advisable to plan and make a budget for your daughter's marriage within your resources.If you overstep your limits and go for an exorbitant marriage for your daughter, though the marriage will be very grand, the aftermath of the marriage will be a nightmare for you.

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Roberta Baxter
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carol roach
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Kimberley Heit
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Posted on Jan 1, 2012