Marriage Counseling or Parenting Class

when is okay not okay?

Three weeks, that’s how long it’s been since the blessed vows graced out hearts, mind, spirits and the ears of those who seem to think that there’s not a reason in the world to keep on loving the one you are with. I will admit depending on the person’s spiritual growth and acceptance love would definitely not be possible, alongside the infinite ability to communicate effectively even when things seem to be a distraction and a form of hindrance. Like most people, I am drawn to be sensitive when certain, “oh, that’s alright” pacifiers are abused.

Now rather you are the father or mother of children, emotions are involved either way the cards lay. Yes, even with the fact of the two of you not having any children together, the most important things to keep in mind especially if the two of you are married is to be and remain selfless. This is love without motive, or restriction. Keeping in mind children are involved and possibly in the same room, both adults have to remain in check and be disrespectful in anyway, rather subtle or intentional. The children are watching and oddly enough that’s also when they take the time to listen.

To be an example, be observant, if your child is not listening to your wife or husband pay attention to what area of your communication you are lacking in. Most times broken homes are because the pacifiers are all used up now the baby is crying. Telling the truth and keep it real is not always about making sure the other person feelings are protected, just speak up and say what’s on your mind. In a tone that doesn’t push them away, nor causes you to not be heard in the process; as for the other mate remember even though you are pissed off what’s better to be heard or listened to.

Now, as I tap these keys while my stepchildren (boy, 5 and girl, 8) are watching “The Goonies”, I anxiously wait to ‘practice what I teach’ has my husband calms down and realize the emotional baggage he has carried over from his last marriage is not acceptable this time around. I’m just saying seriously it’s been three weeks since we said our vows, and I will not expect anything but the best out of us. Maybe I am military minded, but hey I was raised children are to be seen not heard & am often reminded of the cliché, “Do as I say and not as I do”. That can really confuse children as they are growing up, so let your yes be yes and your no be no.

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Jane Thomas
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Posted on Mar 2, 2010