Mother-in-law and the Daughter-in-Law

The relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a sensitive issue in a family.

Mother-in-Law and the Daughter - in –Law !

‘Opposite poles attract each other and the same poles repel each other is a scientific proposition that squarely applies and explains the day today relationship that prevails between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law in most of the Indian families.

But the ideal form of relationship that should prevail between a mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is:-

‘The mother-in-law should treat her daughter-in-law as her daughter and the daughter-in-law should consider her mother-in-law as her mother.’

When a son gets married, a new daughter-in-law enters into the marital home and a new chapter of relationship begins in the life of the son, the daughter-in-law as well as the mother-in-law.

The relationship between a son and his wife mostly does not constitute any problem between them, because, both the son and his wife represent the opposite poles and so they naturally attract each other. Above all love and sexual relationship predominates the relationship between the newly married couple and so naturally, the drawbacks of the husband or the wife may take a back seat.

In the case of the mother-in-law as well as the daughter-in-law, they encounter entirely a different relationship that is hitherto unknown to them. They should tread cautiously lest a homely atmosphere may turn into a battle field .While the mother-in-law should always begin her relationship with her daughter-in-law with a premise that her daughter-in-law is a total stranger at the marital home, but she is the wife of her son and she needs all her sympathy; besides being a stranger, the new daughter-in-law should be given a reasonable breathing time so as to get herself inured to the new atmosphere that prevails at the marital home.

Besides, a mother-in-law should also take into account her family and economical background, besides considering her personal traits, her educational qualifications etc, before entrusting any new work and responsibilities. At the same time, she should also have a self-analysis so as to consider her personal qualifications Vis a Vis her daughter-in-law. Above all a mother-in-law should have a broad mindedness and realize that her daughter-in-law has just begun her life and the natural instincts of her youthfulness will predominate. She should never try to dominate upon her and always deal with her softly and courteously. She should never employ force in her bid to exact obedience or command respect from her daughter-in-law. The behavior of a mother-in-law should always be calm and collected; her sublime behavior should command a natural respect from her daughter-in-law.

Above all generation gap between a mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is a significant factor that should be given due attendance. The gap can be narrowed only by having a frequent interaction between them.

The daughter-in-law should also learn a lot at her marital home. She should always behave with a premise that her mother-in-law is many years elder than her and so there is always bound to be generation gap between them; besides, being the mother of her husband, she knows more about him from his childhood days. Besides, despite getting married still she will have her remnants of love and affection towards her son. The daughter-in-law should be tactical as well as practical in such a way that she should use all the experiences of her mother-in-law to her advantage, to have a thorough understanding with her husband. In short, a daughter-in-law should treat her mother-in-law with a humane approach, guided by the principles of courtesy and mutual respect.

Thus, in the general interest and well being of the family as well as in their personal interest, both the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law should strive to have an ideal form of relationship.

On the other hand, if there is a lack of understanding between them, their relationship will become strained, marked by silly and acrimonious behavior. In turn, it will lead to chaos and confusion; in some cases it may even lead to divorce between the daughter-in-law and her husband, just because she has not had a smooth relationship with her mother-in-law.


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lucia anna
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Rama lingam
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Felisa Daskeo
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