The Dos and Donts for Separated Parents
Divorce, separation, annulment that seemed to be just a very common word I get to hear today specially in the celebrity world. Today they declare marriage the next time you hear them, they are either separated or divorced and fighting custody over their children. But who are mostly affected when parents separate? It’s the children. Here are some dos and don’ts for separated parents with regards to the children and if you are on your way there, consider this as well.
Do talk to your children about the separation. Their lives will be affected and they need something to reassure them that despite the separation, they are still loved. They have the right to know what is happening to their parent’s lives. Do not assume that they don’t know anything, the fact is they can feel that their something wrong in their parents relationship.
Don’t speak badly about the other parent in front of the children. If you are frustrated, talk to your friends or someone else aside from your children. Do not vent your frustration to them. Make sure that they don’t hear you talking about it. The children need to have a good relationship with both parents. Confusing and brain washing them does not help.
Don’t use the children for whatever revenge you have in mind. For whatever shortcomings you have toward the other parent, it is not good to get even with them using the children. You are hurting them when you do this. Unless it is harmful for the children, avoid making the children choose between the two of you. It is good for them to know both of their parents as they grow up.
Do keep the children together. If you are having a custody fight for the children, make sure that you do not divide them. They need their siblings as well.
Do keep the discipline. Do not lax over the discipline just because you feel guilty about the separation. Do not let them do whatever they want and turn them into wild children. They will thank you for keeping that discipline and not making them mess up their lives.
Don’t win them over money and material things. Most parent way of making up with children is thru buying whatever the children want materially. Honestly, it is your time with them that they want. They wanted to make sure that everything is ok and will be alright.
Do make all the efforts you have to have their lives as stable. Having two homes and moving from one place to another is not really fun for the children. The best thing you can do is to make them comfortable. Don’t make their lives miserable just because you’re depressed over the separation. Remember that you are the parent in this situation.
Don’t make them feel guilty when they have fun with either mom or dad.
Don’t turn your children into spies by asking about one parent’s new home, new dates, what they are doing and etc. They are not detectives, they are there to have fun and spend time with them.
And most especially, do not fight in front of the children.
I am a product of a broken home and growing up was a struggle for me. Hope this article will help those children who are now affected with this virus called divorce and or separation.