Tips for a Successful Child Adoption
Why do humans feel the need to procreate?
There are so many abandoned and orphaned children around us. Why do we need to procreate? Why each married couple, as well as unmarried (nowadays, the trend of single unmarried mothers, who impregnate themselves through sperm banks is growing steadily) feel the need of bearing a biological child, when you could adopt one? By doing so you get the satisfaction of having a child, while you provide the so much needed love, security and the stability of a home to an unfortunate soul.
Adoption ÃÂ not only a choice for those who cannot have a biological baby
Adoption is one of the noblest ways to thank the Providence for your own good fortune and blessings. Do not harbor the impression that only those who have medical problems should go in for adoption. Even those who already have biological children could and should consider adopting a child. If each family on this Earth would decide to adopt a child, this world would definitely be a much better place.
What does the adoption process involve?
Before you think of any plan of action, you need to educate yourself about the whole adoption process so you could answer to the eligibility requirements for this goal. You could start with going through some informative and guiding websites such as, http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/adoption_gip_one.cfm, http://www.adoptionlearningpartners.org/ and http://www.davethomasfoundation.org/materials_detail.asp?product=%7B6225BF2B-1D68-4453-8663-1034B2F706A5%7D&category=%7B46C3EE56-5083-412E-8EC7-EB91873F5951%7D. These are free resources, which will guide in the adoption process. A good insight into the task is outlined in this website: http://www.howtoadopt.org/YourAdoptionGuide/educate-yourself.html.
Ten steps to successful adoption
- Research for resources and understand the requirements of the Law in the USA and the State you are living. In case you are planning to adopt from another country, contact a legal agency to apprise you of all the formalities required. It is imperative that you educate yourself about the local law before you start the adoption process. This will help you work through the formalities faster and better. Take a look at these websites for this purpose: http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/adoption_485.html, http://www.ethicanet.org/item.php?recordid=webelieve&pagestyle=default, and http://naic.acf.hhs.gov/profess/families/adopttype/index.cfm. For those who are considering inter-country adoption here is something that would help: http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/menuitem.eb1d4c2a3e5b9ac89243c6a7543f6d1a/?vgnextoid=063807b03d92b010VgnVCM10000045f3d6a1RCRD&vgnextchannel=063807b03d92b010VgnVCM10000045f3d6a1RCRD.
- Contact others who share your quest, both through the Net and off it. By sharing feelings, expectations, and experiences you would be able to raise the possibility of finding the right match for yourself and vice versa. For example, the NACAC or the North American Council on Adoptable Children conducts a yearly conference on adoption where prospective parents can meet the donor parents and 'book' a child.
- Network with as many such people, who are looking for adopting children just as you are doing. Some excellent resources where you would be able to find children literally waiting to be adopted are, http://www.adoptuskids.org/ (Adopt US Kids), http://www.fosterlinks.org, and http://www.fosterclub.org.
- Be sure that you and your partner are ready for such a step. Understand the magnitude of such a decision. When you adopt a child you have accepted a lifelong responsibility that cannot, under any circumstances, be reversed. When you adopt a child, you do not have option to dump him or her just as you would dump a wrongly chosen pet. An adopted child comes to you for life. Are you ready for it? Do you have what it takes to look after a child? Are you capable of giving him or her your whole and unprejudiced love? Time? Financial security? Love? A family?
- Put together the required paper work. This is cumbersome, even painful at times, but it has to be done. Therefore, the sooner it is completed the better. You will find a comprehensive outline of the requirements in the beginner's guide websites that have been listed a little earlier. Ensure that your paper work is complete when you apply as this expedites the process to a large extent.
- Condition your family. When you adopt a child, you are involving your whole family. Your parents, your siblings, your other children, even neighbors would play an important role in acclimatizing and inducting the new member into the folds of the family. The larger and smoother the acceptance, the faster would the child bond with its adoptive parents and feel part of the family.
- Be prepared to wait. Waiting is perhaps the most difficult part of the whole process. The time that is required for adoption varies from place to place and you need to be prepared to deal with it. Many people get frustrated with the paperwork and waiting that adoption involves and give up. Do not give up. There is nothing more beautiful and rewarding that knowing you have made a difference in the life of an innocent child. It is well worth all the trouble that you would have to go through to get this task accomplished.
- Be prepared to face some tough adjustment time. It will help a lot if you understand that this is a process that would involve a lot of hard work. The children come from different backgrounds and circumstances and they often have a very lopsided view of life and love. Unless you are adopting an infant, you will need to deal very carefully with the emotional side of the situation. To have the child bond with you as parents takes time and a lot of effort. Before you get to the perfect picture, be prepared to pass through some tumultuous situations. Be patient, kind and consistent in your behavior.
- Be there. Adopting a child is not only a means to provide a home and basic amenities to a child. It most of all means providing love, a feeling of belonging, a family. Make it a point to be there for your child as he or she grows and needs your guidance and love. There are no short cuts in parenting, nor are there any alternatives.
- Be ready for the truth. There is a very high possibility that no matter how much you love the adopted child, when he or she grows up, he or she would feel a desperate need to know more about (or to find) their biological parents. This has nothing to do with your love and parenthood. This is because most adopted children feel rejected and need to know the reason of this rejection. If you cannot help them, at least be there for them in this quest. It will fortify your bond not weaken it, as most adoptive parents feel.
Online helpful resources:
- http://adoptionlearningpartners.org/ - this is a wonderful resource that helps both the adopted children and adoptive parents cope with "the missing pieces"
- http://parenting.adoption.com/ - this is an excellent website that touches all the major issues the adoption process involves
- http://www.celebrateadoption.com/books.htm - find here books that help you succeed achieving this noble goal