What Corrective Actions Are Okay for a Step Parent to Take
Whether you are the natural parents of children or a step parent it is vital to be on the same page when it comes to raising the children. Communication needs to be open and you should not express your disagreements about each others parenting skills in front of the children. This will only confuse the child as well as give them an open door to pit one parent against the other.
When it comes to disciplinary actions there is much that needs to be discussed up front. Paying close attention to how your prospective partner deals with the stress and behaviors of the child or children is vital to the future of the relationship. If your partner has a tenancy to be short tempered when your child misbehaves, you have a couple of options; you can discuss the situation with your partner and inform them of how you would like your child dealt with or you can end the relationship altogether.
This is a very tricky situation for the step parent or soon to be step parent. If you do not express how you want your child disciplined by the step parent, making clear what is an okay punishment and what is not, then they may think that physically disciplining them is okay. If your partner is having trouble relating to your requests where the child or children are concerned now, you can certainly expect this to become more prominent the longer you are together.
Being a step parent myself I am able to understand the difficulty that a situation like this can present. Luckily I was blessed with a wonderful step daughter so I wasn't really faced with a lot of conflict. I kept to a verbal discipline and when I felt things were out of my hands I presented the situation to her father. This worked wonders for us, but not every one has step children that accept you the my daughter did.
Step parenting does not have to be a criminal sentence or hardship on the relationship between you and your spouse. I truly believe that you set yourself up for problems by the attitude you enter the relationship in. Being a step parent can and should be as rewarding as having your own children. Keeping your own mind in an accepting mode will certainly allow the step child to be all the more willing to accept you as a friend not foe.